Okay, so my Mom's group (mom's group is through the new church we've been attending since January) just started the study "Experiencing God" and we're doing the workbook. I accidentally ordered the actual book on my Kindle Fire as well, so I figure God wants me to read that too. I'm playing catch up on my second week. We're on week 3 but we split the first week into two, so technically we're in our 3rd week of study but only on Unit 2 (make sense? no? ah well, it's okay anyway!). If you haven't done the study and are wondering if you should. Uh... Yes, do the study. Open your heart up, because it is awesome!
Anywho, the second day study is "God's Plans Versus Our Plans" and the third day's is "God Takes the Initiative". So I'm praying and asking God to lead me in the direction to do His Will in all aspects of my life, my personal life, my work, my family, my community, my church, our nation. After I complete the second day, I decide to take a short break and hop on my computer and check out the debil, aka FaceBook.
The church's youth pastor's status stated to pray for his cousin's family, as he lost his battle with cancer today, 10/23. He left behind a wife and two young daughters. Hit me close to home. My mom lost her battle at 42. His cousin was 38. Now I think, what a difference those 4 years could have made for his daughters (and wife of course). But God knocks on a little door in my brain... the one I completely forgotten about and only on occasion do I remember it's there at all.
That door is the door I wish was available for me when my mom died, when I was only 16. Sure, I had counselors both through school and through outside sources to help me in my grief. But I didn't know anyone who was going through the same thing. But then again I did. Less than a year later, my good friend from school lost his father to cancer. We didn't talk about it much, but we tried to. For the 2 years I was home in school prior to leaving for Arizona and college, I kept my faith and held it tight because it was the only thing that helped me make sense of it. I still attest to my faith being the only reason I made it through my terrible depression I suffered for during my college years (that, and my dad as well as a certain best friend - she knows who she is).
Anyway, where am I going with this you may ask? Well, that little door was a small thought of having a grief center for youth who lost a parent due to cancer, but also to anything, be it a sudden death like a car accident or heart attack, or the long slow death of cancer. Now, seeing that one post, especially tonight after praying for God to lead my way to do His will... Well, I can say that the little door has flung wide open and I need to start looking into how to make this possible. How to help kids who are vulnerable and hopeless make sense of something so tragic. How to help them follow God's path even when all hope may be lost. That death is not final, not through God.
Is this a scary thought for myself? Umm... duh, yes. But I take comfort in knowing that even Moses was scared when God first showed him His will. Not that my path will be anything like leading the Israelites out of Egypt! It is scary for me to put this out there, knowing how many people may think I'm crazy for following God in the world we live in. Then, as I was writing this post, I checked my Verse of the Day (Galatians 5:13 ~ For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.) and that speaks to me even more. I'm a stay at home mom and I want to show my girls what God can offer. So here goes...
Heavenly Father, please help me to follow this path if it truly is Your Will. To help me not walk away or leave this path unfinished, to help kids who have situations similar to my own as a teen and to help them with their walk with You. Please let me follow Your Will with selflessness and to remember this is Your Work, only being done by me, with Your Grace. In Your name I pray.
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