Happy 54th Birthday, Mom!

Today marks what would have been my mom’s 54th birthday. There are the times that I’m overcome with emotion that she isn’t here with us, but she showed up today while I was driving. It’s was like her saying, “Um, duh, yes I am. I’m right here. I keep a close eye on you, your dad, and your brother, as well as everyone else I love and care about.” I had a whole conversation with her on my ride into work. Now, if you’ve never lost a loved one, you probably think I’m crazy. And I probably am. But in my heart, I know my mom still hangs out around. This is the first time in almost a year that I’ve felt her presence.

It was as if she was sharing how amazing the feeling of love is between a mother for her daughter. It is an amazing feeling. I love my daughter so much, and knowing, most likely, that my own mom felt that much love and care for me brings me to tears, especially now with the pregnancy hormones in full swing! Even as I was walking into work, Bean had her feet or knees pushing out on parts of my belly, and hurt. I joked with Bean and told her that she needed to move because she was hurting mommy. She did… to a spot that hurt worse. I just heard my mom say, “Well, you did tell her to move. And she did!” I swear if anyone was going past me, they’d think I was crazy for all my random smiling and laughing at myself.

My Aunt was over this past weekend, and we had a pretty good talk. Well, I should correct that. I talked, she listened. I realized I’m in such a good place now with regards to my mom’s passing. Granted, it’s been 11 + years. I miss my mom a lot, but at the same time, I know I wouldn’t be who I am today if she were still here. It’s taken a lot to get to the point I’m at today. I know having a daughter of my own, and another daughter on the way, help tremendously. My husband has been so supportive of me on this whole scale. He knows what it’s like, unfortunately. He lost his dad 2.5 years before we met.

I no longer wonder and worry my mom isn’t proud of who I’ve become today. I know she is. I do wonder how our relationship would be if she were still here today. I try not to focus on that thought too much. There is no reason to wonder “what might have been”. It only causes heartache.

Peanut and I will share a cupcake over dinner today in memory of her. I will be telling my little girl of the amazing woman who gave birth to me, and made me into the woman I am today. I know she’s far too young to understand the words and the stories I will share with her, but I pray this can become a fun tradition to make an otherwise sad day, a happy remembrance one.

In loving memory of Carla N. Taft

Happy Birthday to the best woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in this lifetime. Even though you are no longer with us physically, I know your spirit surrounds us with your presence daily. Mom, you were the best teach I have ever known. I will be loving you forever and always.

There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain, and no more Fears
~Jeremy Camp~
"There Will Be A Day"

Another Week down!

Wow, I’m now 24 weeks!!! I can’t believe how fast this pregnancy is going, as opposed to my first pregnancy with Peanut. I put myself on modified bedrest this past Sunday. Saturday, RoBrotz and I went to WWII weekend with the ‘Nut. We only walked around for a few hours and I made sure not to overdo it and kept hydrated. I still ended up with contractions going all day Saturday evening and into Sunday, sporadically. I had a bit of spotting that I noticed early Sunday morning. Bean was still moving just fine and contractions weren’t labor one.

I finally got into see the doctor, well, nurse practitioner, around noon Monday. She didn’t see anything that greatly concerned her, but decided to put me on a modified bedrest. I already had my 24 week appointment scheduled for Wednesday with my doctor, so I stayed home on Tuesday because nothing was changing.

I wasn’t used to being all alone all day. Normally, I'd work during the day and spend an hour, plus or minus, with DD in the morning and evenings. She normally goes to bed by 6 and I've got the house to myself until RoBrotz gets home around 8:30, if he's working at the office. So Tuesday, I dropped Peanut off at daycare in morning like normal, then came home and was on the couch until picking up her around 4:45 like normal times.

The NP called me back and since the cramping wasn’t letting up, she told me to go in for an ultrasound. I got to see Bean moving around so much. The technician had a difficult job getting the photos she needed because of so much movement. The funny thing was it wasn’t even that much for what I’m used to feeling! Bean was head down though, so that was a major bonus! And we double checked gender; definitely another little girl!!!

So on Wednesday morning, the doctor cleared me to go back to work. He said he wasn't seeing any bleeding. As far as the dizziness, I almost passed out in the office after I sat up from the exam. The doctor immediately told me that the way she's positioned will make standing up or even sitting up difficult, to do it slowly, and not to even lounge on my back – to always be turned to one side or another. And apparently for me to not become dehydrated during the summer being pregnant, I need around 8 bottles of water a day (that's around 160 oz!!) plus probably a bottle or two of gatorade. Guess my body loves water. Oh well, doing what I'll have to do. RoBrotz still wants me to stay off my feet as much as possible, but at least this means my OCD self can justify vacuuming the living room so we don't have cheerio or fig newton crumbs all over for ants to find. Doctor said that the ultrasound looked great and baby is doing fabulously! I felt like a hypochondriac though, sigh. I'll be going in again in 4 weeks for my next appointment. I get to do my glucose test done in 2 weeks as well. Hoping all goes well with that!

Aside from all that excitement, I'm doing alright. I finished up my first video editing job last night. We're getting some decent cash for it!!!! Basically, the one parent of a local high school volleyball team took pictures throughout the year and we put it all to music and burned it to a DVD to get handed out to the kids. It's not fabulous and I know I have a lot to learn about editing, but RoBrotz was like, I so need to get you more jobs like this. That would make up for me staying home if I did one a month, if we decide to go that route!!

Ooo, and I wore my cardigan I made to work today. I've gotten about 5 requests to make them. I said that I might only have time to do 2 this summer, but looks like I'm starting to get business!!! I'm so stoked. I guess all my praying has really paid off! I would love to get some extra quilts done too shortly. I’ve got a few to make in the next few months, so fingers crossed that they’ll also sell soon! I have a few baby sweaters/hats that I'm knitting up which should all be done by mid-July. Too many people are having babies in September!!! But it's all good! Knitting for babies is easy!

Bean Update - 23 Weeks

Another week down!!! I can’t believe it. This pregnancy is FLYING by. With Peanut, it felt like the weeks dragged on, but this time, the week is over before I’ve even had a chance to update my pregnancy book. Bean is doing great. I’m getting regular kicks now, when I wake up, around 9, then 11:30/noon, and then again around 6 while putting Peanut to bed, and finally a lot right before I fall asleep. Heartburn has started in full force, normally waiting until around 6 PM to start. I anticipate a full head of hair on this Bean!

At least I haven’t had any contractions again since last week. I can tell when I’m starting to feel under the weather, so I can modify what I’m doing so that I rest more often. Nesting/Organizing has kicked into full gear, which is ALWAYS nice! I’m sure MLBrotz is enjoying it. I am feeling pregnant though, now on most days! My energy isn’t where I’d like it, but at least I have SOME!

Peanut has another ear infection. Boo. We’ve finally been referred to an ENT doctor to look into have tubes put in her ears. UGH, but I guess I’ve always anticipated this. She’s been very fussy and clingy lately, but it could just be due to the ears. However, she finally cut her four canine (eye) teeth. She’s up to 16 whole teeth! Can you believe it? That girl’s got some chompers! It took her almost 2 whole weeks to get back to her normal sleep routine from our vacation. She even slept in until 7 AM this morning. I didn’t know what to do with myself!

Maternity Cardigan DONE!

Whew! I finally finished a KAL! The BSG girls were knitting cardigans for the month of May. Took me one month to finish it, but I did!! Woo hoo, go me! Here is what I have posted on Ravelry with what I did, and when.

5.1 - Started knit using the small size of 37.5 in bust.
- Decided to use a KFB for my m1 increases

5.3 - Button holes on 9th and 17th repeat
- Second skein started around row 16

5.5 - Determined to make my increases only over the front and back of the cardigan, not the
sleeves. Increases would be done as follows:

K10; K3, YO (repeat 8x's); K46; K3, YO
(repeat 22x's); K46; YO, K3 (repeat 8 x's); K10

- 3 more rows of garter stitch before starting body and separating sleeves.
- do the first body row without doing lace - mistake on my part, but felt better to just start the lace pattern on row later.

5.9 - Decided that I'll do lace 20-25 times depending on how it lays.
- Third skein started on end of 4th repeat

5.13 - Fourth skein started on middle of 11th repeat

5.19 - Fifth skein started on end of 19th repeat

5.23 - Completed lace pattern after 20 times and thought it was the appropriate length

5.26 - Worked garter stitch for 12 rows and cast off with larger needles

5.30 - Picked up sleeves and underarm 7 stitches, worked garter for 6 rows. Decreased 4 stitches for rows 1 and 3. Cast off with larger needles

5.31 - Weaved in ends, sewed on buttons. FINISHED!!!

I wasn't too happy with the weird bagginess on the arms. I saw one of the projects on ravelry had a different type of knitting on the last 3 rows of the garter stitch on the top part of the cardigan. If I make this again, I will definitely be using that guide. I'll just have to remember to find it!

Here's a view from the front!

Here's a view of the final product from the back!

Bean Update - 22 Weeks

I know it's been too long since I last posted. Shame on me. I'll be 22 weeks on Thursday this week. Unfortunately, my fun loving early contractions have started again. Guess I'm not drinking enough water. I need to make sure to have enough fluids for the little Bean! She doesn't want to come out early, I pray! I'm fairly exhausted, although I'm not sure if that has more to deal with chasing around Peanut or just being pregnant in general. I feel like I'm starving all the time again though!

However, overall, I'm feeling pretty good with the pregnancy but getting back from Cancun on Sunday was sad. We had a fabulous time with our friends. Hubby and I enjoyed the sun and Peanut really enjoyed the pool and the ocean. She wasn't a fan of sand, though that was FINE by me!

Highlights for now include Peanut exploding not one, not two, but three diapers on the plane DOWN to Mexico. We ran out of clothes for both Peanut and I on the plane so she ended up half naked in a plastic bag from the waist down in her wrap on me. L(my friend's 22 mo old) and Peanut got along fabulously all week, minus L being a little too "loving", i.e. choke holding Peanut for hugs until she cried, lol. Peanut had a VERY busy week; took several steps alone, learned how to go down stairs alone, started knowing to wave when we say "Say hi" or "say bye", started giving kisses, loved the ocean but hated sand, enjoyed playing 'fetch' both in the water and out, complete water child and didn't burn (I think she's got my skin that tans as opposed to hubby's that burns instantly), and just seemed to thrive all week with both of us around. She was such a ham with everyone there too. All you had to do was smile at her and then she'd smile, wave, then play hide and seek. Thank goodness she's such a mama's girl, or I'd worry she'd go right off with a random stranger. I had a pretty fabulous time, though I'm happy to be home with carpet as opposed to the marble floors where Peanut fell almost daily on (ugh, but thankfully just on her butt - boney as it is!).

I'm almost done with my Febuary Lady Sweater. I'm on my 21st repeat of the lace pattern. I was thinking of anywhere between 20 and 25 repeats. I'm going to try it on tonight and see how it looks. Then I'll decide how much further I want to make it!!! Fingers crossed to have it done by next Tuesday!

I'm Back, kinda!

I keep attempting to update this web page. It’s ridiculous the amount of time that I’ve let slip. If you’re friends on Facebook with me, then you know how busy we’ve been. MLBrotz’ job is going really well. He’s traveling like a madman, but at the moment, he’s slowed down. Peanut’s health is doing vastly better, although she’s still on a nebulizer and at the moment, amoxicillin for another ear infection. That makes 9 since August, if you’re keeping track. I need to get her into have allergy testing done soon too.

Bean is doing well. I can’t believe I’m already 19 weeks pregnant. As much of a shock this pregnancy was, it has been so much of a blessing. God really does work in mysterious ways. However, I think this pregnancy is as different as the east is from the west! I’m still nauseous with this one at least once a week to the extreme. My energy levels have come up, just not to where I’d really like them to be! I’m not 100% sure if it’s from chasing after my almost 13 month old, or from the pregnancy!!! Probably a list of both! I can’t wait until my ultrasound to find out if Bean is a boy or a girl. Ugh, cannot come fast enough! Although, I’m quite certain, boy or girl, this one will have as much, if not more hair than Peanut did.

I am lucky to say though, with Peanut going to bed at 6 PM, I have a few hours to myself in the evening to now get some laundry, cleaning, or even (wait for it…) knitting! I know, I know, it’s a miracle! It is hard to find time to relax while working a full time job on top of everything. I can’t sit down if I know there is a mess in my house. For instance, if Peanut makes a mess out of her toys in the living room, I can’t sit down on the couch and relax to watch TV if it’s all over the place. Just ask MLBrotz. He has had to force me to sit for 5-15 minutes while I’m on a cleaning rampage. Hooray for the nesting symptom of pregnancy!
Within the past two months, I’ve been able to complete a few projects. The following two photos are of a Sirdar pattern for a newborn that my coworker purchased for the birth of her granddaughter.

I completed Peanut’s Jersey for her 1st birthday party at the local AAA team. The team lost but we had fun at her birthday anyway!!!

This next image is the Baby Bunny dress that I finally completed for Peanut. It was knitted as a size 12 mo, but I think she’s got plenty of room to grow into it!!! The design was made our LYS owner, JoAnne Turcotte. That woman is fabulous!!! Peanut looks pleased with the outcome, as am I. I learned how to do fancy crochet edging! Go me!

And finally, I’ve decided to knit up the February Lady Sweater for my BSG FPB KAL this month. I’m making the second size for the 37.5 bust. I’m going to make it short sleeved since I’ll be pregnant over the summer and plan to wear this over a tank top. I’d like to make it so that I have the option of adding sleeves later. Here is my first start up photo. I’m using Plymouth Yarn Fantasy Naturale in Lilac. Apparently, lilac’s in right now to knit with!!!