Thankful for the Hubby Watching the 'Nut

Today's Post: Thankful that RoBrotz watched the Peanut this morning so Mama could go out with other moms sans kiddos (except for Bean, she tagged along just in case she got hungry). It was a very nice change of pace!!!

I went out with my Mom's group down if Q-town today. I think this was the first morning since Bean was born that I was out with only one child. Since Bean doesn't really take a bottle all that well, I figured I'd take her with me. She ended up sleeping the entire time anyway. It was a nice change of pace!

Thankful for Little Things (1 and 2)

Today's Post: Thankful for little things, like Peanut giggles and chattering as well as Bean smiles and cooing.

Peanut loves to chat. Most times, I don't understand what she says. Other times, I've learned her 'language'. Biebers = Diapers, Non-nons = Cheerios, Caw-caw = coffee, Jeeewww = juice, kakers = crackers, booo = book, and there are so many more. She loves to giggle and overall, is just a very happy child.

Bean is really starting to smile and coo. I'm so excited because she's my little scowler. She takes after her Mama way too much!

Bean Smiling!

Both my girls' smiling, at the same time!!

Thankful for Friends and Family

Today's Post: Jesus has blessed me with wonderful friends and amazing family that I'm extremely grateful for!

I really don't think I need to go into details too much with this one, because those close to me should know how thankful I am to them. I may not go too much into detail about how much they mean to me, but they truly do.

Thankful for Freedom

Today's Post: Thankful to God for our freedom today but I know it doesn't come without a price. Remembering those who perished 70 years ago in the attack on Pearl Harbor today.

I cannot believe it's been 70 years. From what I can understand, Pearl Harbor was our Grandparent's generation's 9/11. Casualties included 2,335 servicemen and 68 civilians, 1178 people were wounded. And the day after the attack, the U.S. declared war on Japan. It was also what drove the US into WWII. At least, that's what I remember from my high school history class. Hitler thought the US was too focused on Japan, but he was wrong. I am thankful for all our service men and women, as well as those at home who support them.

Thankful for St. Nick

Today is St. Nicholas' Day! You know, the guy they based Santa off of? Yea, not many people know who he is. He was known to place coins in shoes that were left in the doorstop in the 4th century. We always put our shoes out the door at school at St. Isidore's. I loved it. My friend put on her facebook about putting your shoes out. So, I decided to do it for the girls. Obviously, Bean had no clue what was going on, but Peanut was sure excited to see cookies and chocolate in her shoes in the morning!

Shoes with Loot!

Peanut sees the cookie and points them out!

Ooo, cookies for breakfast!

And today for the season, I wanted to do some fun crafts. It was rainy, been rainy, so we needed to do something fun. I decided to do Bean's footprint as a tree. I attempted to do a hand, but she still holds her hand clenched in a fist most of the time. For Peanut, we did her handprint. We made three of each, so that Grandma, Grandpa, and RoBrotz and myself can all have one!

Bean's on the Left, Peanut's on the Right

Thankful for Being Happy

Today's Post:

When I was lost and turned away from You, You refused to let me walk away. You stayed with me and made sure to put people in my life that would help me on my journey back to You. Thank you.

For a long time, after my mom passed away and I went out of state to college, I fell into a deep depression. It's not coincidental that I had lost my faith at this same time. I wondered how a God I loved could take the one person I loved and adored more than anything (at that time) away from me. After a long time, and my wonderful husband, I was able to return from the terrible depressed place I was in for almost 5 full years.

God was there for me, no matter what I believed. He gave me the friends (mainly friend, Laura, throughout college) to battle my demons. He saved me from myself. He stood beside me and helped take the pain away when I asked him.

It wasn't until I had my baby girl, Peanut, that I truly turned to Him with my praise and worship.

Thankful for My Hubby

Today I'm thankful for my husband. Now, before I get mushy on this, we are like any other couple. We have our bickering, complaining, and occasionally, misunderstandings. What couple doesn't? I know I'm not perfect. I know I can be whiney, expect my husband to read my mind, and darn it if I don't just want to go to bed right after the girls are put in their cribs for the night instead of relaxing and talking to my hubby about our days. I'm not a great communicator, a fact I've been steadily working on over the past year or so. I avoid confrontation as much as possible, but I've realized that I cannot complain if I don't make my feelings known or voice my opinion.

RoBrotz is loyal, loving and extremely wonderful. God truly knew what He was doing when He put the two of us together. No one knows me as much as RoBrotz does. He knows how to avoid my spitting fire of agitation, how to poke and prod when I don't want to be teased, how to make me laugh when all I want to do is cry, and how to listen when I'm upset. He's fantastic at building me up and taking good care of me. He is a wonderful father to our girls. I can see it in his face, the way it lights up when Peanut runs up to him after a long trip, yelling "DADA!!!!!" and giving him a great big bear hug.

I'm so thankful God put my awesome husband in my life. He truly knew what He was doing. RoBrotz' such a great father and hubby and is an extremely hard worker. I'm so thankful that he has a job he loves, especially in this economy. God truly is wonderful!

Stay at Home Mom

Over the course of the past year, RoBrotz and I bounced around the idea of me becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM). Financially, it didn't make sense for me to continue working since daycare would be the same cost as our mortgage almost. If my job was a career place, I would have considered staying. As much as I loved working with my coworkers in my department and in assessment, it was a job, not a career or life to me. I couldn't justify working and being away from my girls for what my take home pay would have been after daycare and costs of working (foods, gas, etc).

So yesterday, I gave my two weeks notice. I could have waited an additional three months, but it seemed pretty pointless since my mind was made up. RoBrotz ultimately left it up to me, but he supported my decision. He did ask me to continue to look into the job market though, in case a better paying option becomes available.

The entire time driving into work, I was nervous. It's a life alternating decision. There are so many unknowns, so many uncertainties, especially in this economy. What happens if something happens to RoBrotz' job, Heaven forbid? I know it's a heavy load to carry for him to know he is carrying the burden of providing financially for us, not to mention our health, dental and vision care.

There was much prayer on this. And I'm honest when I say it was pretty much the entire year's worth of thinking on it and praying on it. I trust in God that this is the right course of action. Now that the girls and I've gotten a routine down, and with the Moms group I'm in, I honestly felt it was God's push to this direction.

I also have been thinking on this with the chapter I'm in with Radical. It has to deal with poverty and how if we have our own homes, transportation, and can put food on the table, than we are in the top 15% of the world's population. I have long wanted to help, but didn't have a clue how to. God put me in this position for a reason, and I want to help others out as well. Hopefully, I'll be able to be guided more to do His work.

So, thank you Lord for providing my husband and I means for me to stay home with our children.

Thankful for Sleeping In

I love being a mom. But some days, I miss being able to sleep in. I'm still in shock when I get to sleep in past 6:30. When Peanut was younger, she put herself on an early sleep schedule. She'd be asleep by 6 PM, but that means she was up around 6 AM. During the week, that was fine because I needed to be up for work. We'd leave the house at 7:30. So now, even on leave, she is still on the same schedule. But it's okay. I'll just have my few cups of coffee in the morning and I'm raring to go!

Bean has been on almost the same schedule as Peanut now. We're finally in a good pattern for bedtimes. It took a while, but I think we're there. Peanut eats dinner around 5ish, while Bean nurses. Then, every other day, it's bath night. Bean gets her bath first, then is swaddled and tucked into her bouncer while Peanut gets her fun bath. It's usually a good 30 minutes to do bath time for both girls. I can't wait until I can put both girls in the tub at the same time. I don't think I put Peanut in the actual tub, not the baby tub in the actual tub, until she was about 7 or 8 months. Hopefully that'll make bath time a bit quicker, until at least they learn to take baths on their own! Many years until that will happen. Once Peanut's bathed and put in PJs, we all go into her room (Bean still in her bouncer) and we do stories. A friend of mine said that she normally does about 15 minutes of reading, so depending on which book/story she read meant she might read one story or three to five. Then, Peanut's put in her crib, usually upset because the 'bebe' and mama are leaving the room. Once Bean sleeps through the night, we might put her and Peanut in the same room. Anywho, once Peanut's down, I take Bean into her room, nurse her again, and rock her until she's drowsy.

All said and done, I'm back downstairs, alone, by about 6:45-7. I'm hoping to eventually knock that down to about 6:15. I tend to read blogs or what not on my phone while rocking Bean to sleep. Some days, it's just nice to hold her while she's sleeping. She's only waking once a night (knock on wood) now. Normally, she'll wake anywhere between 2 and 4:30 AM. Depending on what time she initially woke up, she'll be up for the day between 6 and 7. I like when she's asleep until 7, so Peanut and I can wake up a bit!!!

So today, I'm thankful that both girls slept in until past 7 AM!!! I don't remember the last time I did that! Very thankful to Jesus today for both girls sleeping in until after 7!!!! They are so energetic and precious but sometimes, this mama needs to sleep in a bit.

Thankful to God's Blessing on my Life

This month I decided to list through my Facebook every day different things I'm thankful to God and Jesus about. I saw on a friend's Facebook for the month of November of things she was thankful for leading up to Thanksgiving. First though, I wanted to write what prompted this.

An old acquaintance from high school invited me down to her church with her Moms group that meets twice a month when I asked via Facebook if my friends knew of good activities to do while staying home with the girls on my maternity leave. This is exactly what I've been looking for, what I've felt I've needed for a long time and never knew where to look.

We're doing a study of the book, Radical, by David Platt. The study went through the chapter about being Disciples to all nations. When the study leader asked us how we can accomplish this, I immediately thought of my friend's "November Thanksgiving" posts. I stated quickly that with all the negative thoughts and judgmental 'Christians', this could be my small discipleship.

Thus, I'm brought to my first post:

"Thankful to God's Blessing on my Life"

God truly has blessed my life. There are so many things in my life that I am thankful for because He is good.

Starting Potty Training?

Peanut decided to tell me she needed to potty today! Last night, she almost pooped in the tub so I managed to get her out and she pooped on the toilet. So today, she kept saying potty, then went to the bathroom door and banged on it. I figured, what the heck, and put her on. She pooped! I didn't plan on potty training her until after the New Year, but it seems she wants to do it sooner rather than later! Wahoo!

Peanut's 18 Month Check Up

Well, I can say that I don't plan on ever having two kids get shots the same day. It was hard enough for them to have the same appointment. Sigh. Peanut's still a little peanut. She's 19 lbs 8 oz and 30.25 inches. The doctor's not concerned with it, thankfully. Peanut's just a small kid. She's in the 3-5% and that's okay!

We Have a Bean!

Bean’s Birth Story

I was induced for non medical reasons (hubby will be going away starting the end of this week for the entire month of October and into November). RoBrotz and I were scheduled to go into the hospital at 7 am. We had planned on both going to drop Peanut off at daycare early then heading over to the hospital. However, around 5:50, the hospital called and stated that there was a huge influx of women in active labor and asked that I wait at home and they would call me later to let me know when exactly to come in.

RoBrotz and I hung out at home. This gave us some time to hang out with Peanut, and enjoy being a family of 3 for only a bit longer. We took Peanut over to daycare around 8. I didn’t want her to miss breakfast over at daycare. That would be bad. We were attempting to keep her schedule as ‘normal’ as possible. The hospital called when I got home, and said that they’d have my room available for me at 11 am.
RoBrotz and I got to the hospital a bit after 11. They were just starting to clean up a few rooms so we ended up hanging out for about a half hour waiting. Finally, we were able to get into a room. The nurse came in after I was in the hospital gown to hook me up to the IV. Apparently, she was the best nurse to do IVs, but I have terrible veins. She ended up blowing my one vein in my arm (my arm looks very zombie like now), but was able to get it in my left hand. Hooray!

After being checked and told that I was around 2-3 cm and 50% effaced. Baby was still very high, around a -3 station. Finally, the resident was able to get ahold of the doctor and they started me on Pit. From around 1:30 until maybe 7, we were hanging out, chilling. DH was able to get food, etc and I was able to do some knitting and watching TV. My doctor was able to come in around 5 or 6. He said that I was still around 3 cm, at about 75-80%, and baby was around a -2, almost a -1. He informed me that once I hit a 0 station, they’d break my water and that should speed things along. Around 7:55, the resident came in and informed me I was 3-4 cm, 80% and at a 0 station. She went ahead and broke my water. With that, the contractions definitely got more intense.

At this point, I turned off the TV (well, we turned the volume down, because DH actually was watching the Phillies game). He put on some NeedToBreathe to help me concentrate through the contractions while he massaged my lower back. I definitely had some fun back labor. I was getting exhausted lying on my side, so the nurse decided to switch me to a birthing ball. The ball was fantastic and by rolling my hips back and forth while in between contractions, I was able to help shift Bean into a better position. All the while, DH was helping remind me to breathe better and massaging my back.

We shifted again to a standing position this time. In between these contractions, it was like RoBrotz and I were dancing. He kept making jokes but unfortunately, laughing hurt. It did help me deal with the pain though. After a bit, I didn’t want to stand anymore. My legs were giving out on me and I wanted to lie down. We decided for me to lay on my left side to labor. It helped to hear the music better. My breathing through the contractions were with the beat, which the nurse was impressed with. (Hey, DH and I met in a band, of course I’d be breathing with the beat!)

Finally, I felt better when I pushed a bit while contracting, and told the nurse such. I didn’t push hard, just enough to keep the edge off. At this point, I had requested the Stadol. My nurse gave me an extremely low dose. I remember seeing the time at 9:40 and thinking, oh man, I need to get through this, only a few more hours!!! I honestly thought Bean wouldn’t be born until after midnight.

The nurse had called the doctor and he showed up around 9:45. RoBrotz even thought he’d say, “okay, she’s at a 8-9” but instead, we were told, “Okay, it’s time to push.” The first contractions, I was still on my side, but we were able to get me onto my back to push in between the contractions. I pushed the first time, but didn’t hold out and ended up yelling at the end. The doctor reminded me to keep the sound internalized and instead use that urge to push. One more push and I felt her head come out. I definitely felt that “ring of fire” that people talk about, but I remember telling myself that as soon as she’s out, it’ll be over. The final push, and the rest of the Bean was out. I pushed for 6 minutes and after those 3 pushes, Bean was born on 9/22/11 at 9:58. 6 lbs 15 oz and 19 in.

I was in shock. I didn’t expect to be in such control. It took me a while to get it through my head that I had actually given birth and could think through it. I even remembered delivering the placenta. It was so surreal. I was actually able to get up and shower only hours after delivering. It was a fabulous delivery and honestly, gives me faith that I can do it all again if we decide to have another in a few years.

Bean’s taken to nursing like a champ. Peanut is enjoying being a big sister. Now, if I could convince myself to get some sleep. I really couldn’t have done it so well without RoBrotz and my awesome nurse. My doctor even said he had to double check to make sure I didn’t have an epidural because I was in that control of my body. I was thrilled with my delivery and it went perfectly. And now I have my beautiful little girl #2!

Bean!

Family of 4!

Fantasy World

It’s a beautiful day outside, so very beautiful; the kind that brings tears to your eyes. Well, it may be my wondrous pregnancy hormones but while eating outside today, I realized it was one of those perfect days outside. I even got a bit red on my arms from sitting outside. Then again, I’m pretty white at the moment from not feeling too well all summer with PUPPS rash and all around hatred of humidity!

Anyway, “Blink” by Revive came on my Pandora Radio, and of course my emotions went into high gear. I usually think of Peanut’s first year whenever I hear that song, but today, it was different. I thought of my mom and how our time was over in a blink. Damn pregnancy hormones! I know she’s sending me another beautiful little girl (as well as God and RoBrotz’ father).

It is one of those days that I know my mom and I would have been sitting on the farm’s back porch, sipping on some Sun Tea, watching Peanut run around like a crazy toddler that she is. I would have confided in her my frustration that I was feeling because I wasn’t in labor yet. (My main reason I’m frustrated is because I’m officially 10 days from my EDD of 9/29. I had Peanut 10 days early and I could have sworn I would have Bean earlier than Peanut. It’s hard to know I’m wrong!!!) We’d laugh about all the stupid things people we know do, about coworkers and work, about life, about everything. We’d take Peanut out into the fields and help us chop down some cornstalks and begin to decorate the outside of the farmhouse with scarecrows, Indian corn, and other fall decorations.

Mom would be an awesome Grandma, I think. We didn’t really have a huge relationship with either set of Grandparents growing up. At least, it didn’t feel that way to me. Dad’s parents lived in Arizona and my grandmother passed away when I was 6. Apparently, even when she was able to visit us a few times in Texas, she was on a vast amount of medications and wasn’t 100% herself. My paternal grandfather was awesome, when we saw him, but with him living so far away, visits were few and far between. I’m grateful in college to be able to attend his 10 year coronation anniversary to the Church. I got to hear lots of funny stories. In fact, the memories I have of my Grandfather truly show when watching my own father playing with Peanut.
My mom was fairly independent (ever wonder where I got THAT gene?!?!) and while we saw my maternal grandparents (grandfather lived next to us on the farm and grandmother lived across town – they divorced when mom was in college), we were never close with them. I tend to think I’m a lot like my mom. I can see the way I react to my daughter like she did. Mom was fiercely protective of us. I was attached at her hip.

I know this is why I enjoy Peanut being such a Mama’s girl, though I feel guilty when she always chooses me over RoBrotz. I knew I would want to be close with my kiddos, as a child who lost a parent young. I didn’t realize how much I’d be that mom. There is that feeling deep in my subconscious that I won’t be around longer than my mom was with me. I know it’s beyond illogical, but I know it’s there. It’s hard to deal with and since it is, I try not to think about that fact at all if possible.

Anywho, sometimes I feel like my reasoning some times for the induction on Friday with DH's schedule worries me and I feel selfish. At the same time, assuming DH is at this work place for a long time, YDD will have every birthday scheduled around her daddy's work and the damn playoffs (as well as her cousin's birthday). But having my ultrasound last week and the doctor showing us her "practice breathing" and all her organs looking fully mature, I feel way more comfortable with our decision. Though, I also cannot shake that I’ll be having a “Libra” baby. One night last Thanksgiving, I just “knew” I’d have a Libra baby, which was weird since RoBrotz and I planned on having another Spring Baby. Turns out some things are just meant to be!!! I just hope that this little one decides to come on her own before the scheduled induction!!!